I am turning my tanker around and I don’t know where I will be heading exactly or even what my tanker might look like. 

It’s all very hard to fathom and I am sad and scared and excited and emboldened and of course so much more besides. I am expecting (when I least expect it) in the next few weeks and months and years to feel the shock waves, I’m already feeling them prematurely perhaps.

I want to thank all the people, all the work and all the love that went into 32 years of my life as an artist in Blast Theory. And I want to thank all of the hidden effort and love from people, strangers, I have never met, that has flowed towards me, that has inspired me and that has made it possible – I am so grateful and want to wish you all the best too!

To find others who want to go on the ride with you, to go into the tornado of the unknown, for a moment, for an hour, for over 80 projects and for three decades is incredible to me. When I look a member of the public in the eye, a curator, a collaborator, a member of our team and of course Matt and Nick, to feel a shared sensibility like this… Well, this is one of the greatest loves of my life. We are always us alone and we are always us as a part of the group. We are not all the same, but what we share is always more interesting to me than where we differ.

I am not afraid to pull that close, because we could be anyone, we could wake up and our life be completely different and for whatever reasons my life ended up this way.

I am trying not to unravel, I am trying to find out what she looks like now. She needs to go somewhere else. She is not cooperating and she is as always full of love, afraid and ready to square up to it. 

Without fear and vulnerability there is no learning and change for me and that is not as bad as it may first sound. If you have a Ju shaped hole or hear of one, please do be in touch and rest assured I will reach out to you.

My deepest thanks and warmest wishes to you all as always Ju x